Resident Pee Hole
by Uutama
Summary: Look, don't question it. 18


"Jill, is that you?" Barry autistically questions.  
"Oh, Barry!" Jill screeches like a horny witch giving birth to a Namekian on Thanksgiving.  
"That was close; you were almost a Jill Sandwich." Barry replies with his penis cocked and raring to go. It was almost as if he were the mayo bottle at subway waiting to be applied to Jill's luscious situation makes Jill extremely horny; so horny in fact that her tits start to stretch like Laffy Taffy on a lazy Saturday afternoon on the boardwalk. Barry replies to this situation in the only natural way possible: to take a bite out of them.  
"Tastes like bubblegum." Barry states as he is wanking his willy to the tune of approaching zombies.  
"Barry, isn't there somewhere you need to be?" Jill questions reluctantly. Barry knows what this means; he's seen it plenty of times before. Quicker than a catholic priest at a youth center, Barry pulls out his 'Colt 44 Magnum,' if you catch my drift, and starts slapping Jill straight in the face with his flaccid bologna sandwich.  
"Yummy yummy, cummies in my tummy." Jill says as she takes off her zombie cum-stained beret, letting down her hair. Barry cums all over her breasts and starts letting out cum missiles that somehow swerve through the room and go inside of her pussy.  
"How did you cum with a flaccid cock?" Jill questions while showing off her best impression of Belle Delphine.  
"Leon taught me back in '89." Barry says as he smirks while looking down upon her tits. He knew this was a lie, because Barry hasn't met Leon in his life, and technically he doesn't exist yet in the lore. "By the way, my asshole itches. Can you scratch it for me?"  
"Oh, Barry!" Jill replies as she hastily readies herself for the supreme butt fondling that is about to unfold.  
Barry opens up his cheeks, holding them wide apart until the creases start to bleed. Unfortunately for the two autismos, this scent attracts quite a handful of infected zombies.  
"Rats!" Barry yells as rats walks along the floor. He tries to pet one, but it bites his cock and gives him gonorrhea. The zombies are also a problem, as they are slowly approaching, very slowly. In fact they are slowly approaching so very slowly that they are very slowly approaching. This is a problem, so Jill suggests that it may be best to go into a different area. The two S.T.A.R.S. members take off together, Barry's dick flopping and Jill's breasts half chewed and flung around her neck like a gay man's scarf. Fortunately the next room isn't too far away, so the door opens, and as the door is still slowly opening, the zombies are pretty much so slow that it doesn't really matter. Eventually the long ass cutscene of the door opening ends and they load up the next room, zombie free.  
Upon entering the next room, they are greeted by a stone statue of Leon Kennedy scratching his anus. This reminds Barry of something. Something important.  
"Jill, who is Leon anyway?" He asks as he draws a penis on the statues faces.  
"Oh, Barry!" Jill remarks rather snarky as she ties up her arm and proceeds to inject liquid cocaine into her blood stream. Barry, finished with his desecration of the Leon statue, looks over to Jill. Shocked, he reaches over to her and smacks her upside the head.  
"You dumbass, you can't do cocaine!" Barry yells, chastising Jill further by stuffing her mouth with his cock. "You have to do the real good shit. Have you ever tried mixing herbs together and smoking that shit? Blue and red herbs get you high as shit, Jill!"  
"Oh, Barry!" Jill replies. The two retards take their herb stashes and mix them together, creating the ultimate drug: Cum-Jolt. This super drug not only makes you stupider than Drax from Guardians of the Galaxy, but it increases your hormone levels to be on par with Danny Devito's sweaty ballsack.  
"Jill, I uh, can't seem to get my pants off." Barry says even though his cock as been out the whole time.  
"Oh, Barry!" Jill says as she rips off Barry's cock and hands it back.  
"Jill, I want you to have this," Barry states handing her the D. "It might be handy if you, the master of unlocking, take it with you."  
"Oh, Barry!" Jill says again, wondering if this joke has gotten old yet.  
The two fuck for days, cumming and squirting all around the mansion. It got so hot and heavy that even the zombies joined in. Wesker, up to is villainous deeds, gets confused as to why nobody has discovered his plot and returns to the mansion to find if there remains any evidence of remaining S.T.A.R.S. members. Upon his arrival, only one door blocked his path. He reaches out to open it, when suddenly he hears a voice.  
"Wait! Don't open that door!" The voice calls out from behind him. It was Chris Redfield, pissed and ready to kiss ass.  
"It's about time you showed up!" Wesker yells, throwing up his jacket to look really cool. It was obvious at this point that Wesker was craving homosexual relations. Chris looked down only to find a big hairy cock sitting plump in Wesker's crotch. Right underneath his shaft lies another miniature sized penis atop the skin of his balls.  
"Which one do you want me to suck?" Chris asked, grimacing. The smell of Wesker's scrotum was akin to a house full of Shoemaker farts. It was deadly, so he used an herb to recover.  
"Suck on this!" Wesker shouted as he threw up his jacket again to make himself look even cooler. As the jacket fell back down due to the nature of gravity, Wesker's taint was replaced with a vaginal opening. That's right, Wesker now has two cocks and stanky puss. Not only did this surprise Chris, but it turned him on. He slowly reached into his pants and shifted his cock around until he got the fabled Erection of the Dead.  
The Erection of the Dead is the most powerful erection known to mankind. It's basically the infinite rocket launcher you get for beating the game in under three hours. With its power, you can tame any wild beat you come across, even one with two cocks and a stanky puss.  
"Get a load of this!" Eggman said as Wesker played Sonic Adventure DX on the Sintendo Gamebox while waiting for you to read the last paragraph. Wesker returned his attention to Chris and immediately became enamoured by his large, mystifying cock.  
"Chris!" A girl's voice shouted from across the hall. It was none other than Chris' sister, Claire, who is definitely not supposed to be in this game.  
"Claire, no, don't! My cock is too powerful, look away!" Chris demands, but alas, it was to no avail. Claire has already been charmed by Chris' sparklingly gorgeous docking bay. Both of Redfields stare deeply into each other's eyes and starting cumming out of every pore in their body. The semen is so intense that even the 90's can't handle it!  
Soon, tears begin to fall out of Chris' eyes. Both Wesker and his sister are attached to his cock like some kind of shitty televised porno. The shock is too much for Chris to bear, and so he decides to pull out his shotgun and end his tragic life.  
"Goodbye…" Chris weakly mutters to himself. Boom! The shot goes off, and blood splatters all across the room. Chris shot his cock clean off. All three of the dumbasses fall to the floor unconscious and begin to sing some songs that only a Rabbi could love.  
"Dradle… dradle… dradle… I made it out of clay… "  
The room goes silent. Everyone fell asleep, probably.  
Leon suddenly walks in on Barry and Jill fucking in the other room, vigorously jacks his sexual aparatus directly into his mouth and jizzes out the tastiest cum ever cummed before.

The End


End file.
